An Open Letter

Dear Whomever Is Still Singing and/or Dreaming About a White Christmas,

It is now February. Please stop.

Thank you,

The Critter Alley Crew

Merry Christmas 2013

Here it is, only 4 days until Christmas. If you're like me, you've hustled and bustled, but still aren't quite ready for the big day. Last Saturday snow slowed shoppers down. Today heavy rain may do the same. But no matter, everyone will dodge the downpour to check off the final items on their list. It's what we do for the people (and critters) we love.

Before heading out to join the holiday frenzy, we wanted to take this chance to wish all of Blogville a very Merry Christmas. We hope you have a relaxing peaceful holiday filled with family, friends, and fun. Stay safe and (like the happy puppy in the cartoon) may all your fondest wishes come true!

December Snow 2013

The neighbors were treated this morning to the sight of me in my big fluffy robe, sweep-shoveling a pathway to the grass for Indy. We have at least 7 inches on the ground and the snow is still coming down hard enough to wet my hair and dampen my shoulders as I worked. It's a beautiful wet heavy snow, coating trees and bushes like frosting on a gingerbread house. Perfect for Christmas.

When I finished shoveling, I filled the bird feeder with seed. It's hard for my little feathered friends to find food when snow is this deep. But not to worry. Dozens of them are currently enjoying a smorgasbord breakfast.

I hoped to finish up my Christmas shopping today, but looks like plans will be postponed for a while. So I'll fix a cup of hot chocolate instead and join Bogey at the window.

We both like to bird watch.

Indy's Favorite Things

If Oprah can do it, so can we. Do what you ask? Why, talk about our favorite things, of course. So for your gift giving pleasure, Indy and Bogey are going to let you know what gifts put the pitter-patter in critter hearts.

First we have Indy's holiday picks.

1. A delectable delicious chewy bone. There are few things more delightful than gnawing on a flavored chew bone. Indy loves them all, from softer dental chewies to hard nylon bones such as those made by Nylabone. Nylabone lasts longer than any other chewy and Indy keeps a stash on hand at all times. Happy chewing!

2. Any plush toy with a concealed squeaker. Indy's older and a bit hard of hearing, but a loud high-pitched squeaky toy is still able to perk up his ears. Beware, though, if your dog is a squeak-removal expert. We certainly don't want you to spend Christmas in the emergency vet clinic.

3. Unlike Santa hats and mufflers, a soft comfy dog sweater is a clothing item Indy enjoys wearing. Find a sweater that is not too snug and not too loose. It will help keep old bones warm when the thermometer drops. If your dog has never worn a sweater before, let him/her slowly get used to having it on. You'll soon have a true canine fashionista on your hands.

4. Plush fleece-type bed topper. Indy has several beds throughout the house and insists on snuggling in fluffy layers of softness. Plush blankets are fairly inexpensive, but here's an even cheaper option. Go to the fabric store and buy a couple of yards of plush fleece material. Fold it and place on top of your pup's bed. No hemming needed. Ahhhhh. Now that's luxury!

5. A personalized bandana. Indy has several that range from a checkered flag pattern to snowmen to red-white-and blue. Each one has "Indy" embroidered in a contrasting color. You can find a ton of sizes, patterns, and colors at K9Design. We've ordered from them several times. They do good work and have always gotten the finished product to us FAST. What stylish dog wouldn't want a wardrobe of bandanas?

Okay, there you have it. Indy's top five favorite things. Bogey is now hard at work on his list. We'll share it with you next time.

Don't You Love a Love Story?

On Christmas Day the entire family (including 20-something siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) witnessed an honest to goodness, down on bended knee, ring box in hand, surprise marriage proposal.

I'm pleased to report that our daughter said yes.

And now may the planning begin...

Our Wish for You

Meowy Christmas!

Happy Howlidays!

Sending our wishes for a season filled with blessings. We appreciate each and every one of you!

A Little Christmas (Story)

In recent days, it's been hard to find something to smile about. Yet despite wars, tragic domestic events, famine, and plague, it's still Christmas. It's still a time for us to have joy in our hearts.

It may be silly and trite, but few holiday movies bring a smile to my face like "A Christmas Story". I've even read the book in which the story first appeared as part of a collection of short stories by Jean Shepherd. It's as funny in print as on film.

When I searched this morning for a way to bring back my Christmas smile, I found "A Christmas Story" website, complete with games, trivia, movie clips, and more. It brightened my day and I hope it will yours, too.

We really do need a little Christmas (Story). Enjoy it and smile!

Special Gifts

Christmas 2011 is over and I feel a faint sense of relief.

Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays. But right now I'm shopped out, have become more roly-poly than the jolly old elf, and am weary of running from event to event like a mouse through a maze. It feels good to sit in front of my computer screen and feel at least a bit back to normal routine.

I do have some cool gifts to share with you.

The Son made our holiday with an awesome announcement. He's officially engaged to a wonderful girl and we couldn't be more pleased! It will be such fun to help plan their special event which is scheduled to take place in 2012. And don't worry. I hereby pledge to give advice only when asked, thereby avoiding the dreaded "monster-in-law" sydrome.

The Daughter gave me a unique gift. Check out these t-shirts.

Cute, huh?  But take a closer look...

Tee-hee! I love them! They say every writer needs to advertise. I plan to become a walking Critter Alley billboard!

Hope your hectic holidays brought equally delightful pleasures!

Before and After

Decorated...

Undecorated...

Merry freakin' Christmas from Bogey.

Just In Case

Just in case someone at work took the last piece of birthday cake.

Just in case your significant other forgot to make a deposit that caused three checks to bounce.

Just in case the cat threw up on the only place the carpet had left without a spot.

Just in case the dog got loose and you had to chase him around the neighborhood wearing only your nightgown.

Just in case you're sweating and swearing and sweltering on yet another steamy day in July, remember this.

Only five months from today we'll be thinking about other things.

Merry Christmas.

T'was the Day After Christmas

With apologies to Clement C. Moore

T'was the Day After Christmas

T'was the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
the only sound stirring is my snoring spouse.
The stockings were scattered all over the floor
Not quite as neat as it was once before.

Rumpled and wrinkled and mussed were our beds
From nightmares of eating too much rich shortbreads
With Dad in his long johns and the dog in my lap
My forehead pulsated like a loud thunderclap.

When under the tree there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter
O'er to the tree I stumbled to find
The source of the action, the real mastermind.

His eyes, how they twinkled! How dashing, how merry!
His attitude casual, with no commentary.
He watched me approach without moving a muscle
Then pulled at a tree branch to make a strong rustle.

He rubbed all his whiskers along the tree skirt
And pushed through the packages like an expert
The four footed culprit soon gamboled away
Before I could catch him and then make him pay.

He raced to the closet and soon disappeared
With the ease of a burglar, or perhaps a Bluebeard.
But I heard him exclaim 'ere he ran out of sight
"It's Christmas, Mom, don't be so uptight!"

A Small Christmas "Tail"-Final

Alas, all things must come to an end. And so it is with this Small Christmas Tail...

A Small Christmas "Tail"-Final

When the Man opened the door to let him inside, Casey discovered a surprise. The living room was full of people. And since there wasn't a stranger among them, he didn't even need to bark once. He wagged his stubby tail and went from person to person, greeting each one in turn. Even the most insatiable attention seeker would be satisfied with the number of  pats and ear scratches he received. 


Then the Lady appeared carrying a huge tray filled with delicious smelling food. The air around it made his mouth water with the aroma of ham, turkey, sausage, and cheese. Casey sat as close to to the tray as possible, but knew better than to sneak a nibble. As usual, his patience paid off. He received a juicy morsel of ham from the Man which was so tasty, he swallowed it whole.

The entire room seemed filled with smiling faces. But contentment soon turned to excitement once the people began to exchange wrapped packages of all sizes and shapes. Casey watched paper drift to the floor as treasures were uncovered amidst exclamations of delight.

And then, the Lady held out a package for him!

She held it while Casey's teeth eagerly ripped paper off in bits and pieces until he discovered a fine new fleece toy. He mouthed it and was rewarded by a thrilling squeak. This prompted him to prance around the room, making it squeak with every step. The people laughed, so he ran three more laps before dropping the toy and smiling a doggy smile of his own. He couldn't remember when he'd had such a marvelous time.

Much later, after each guest had bundled up and left, Casey rested his muzzle on his new toy. The Lady and the Man sat close together, talking quietly while the fireplace snapped and crackled with warmth. Suddenly Casey lifted his head.

How silly to look for a single word to describe the meaning of Christmas. No doubt Christmas did include fun, sharing, home, and peace. But there was something else, too. He abandoned his toy and jumped on the couch to snuggle between the Man and the Lady. Casey pondered the evening's events until just the right word came to mind. And in his opinion, it was the best one of all.

Love.

Love is the meaning of Christmas. It's the thread that sews all the pieces together, neatly as his new fleece toy. He watched as Sasha stalked to the tree and batted an ornament. Yes, he decided, even love for a cantankerous cat is part of the magic of Christmas. And wouldn't it be perfect if that same magic filled every day of the year?

Casey yawned. He knew that to be a question for another day. And then, as the Lady gently stroked his head, the little dog fell asleep in the flickering light of the fire.

###

From all of us at Critter Alley, may this holiday season grant you fun, shared blessings, a happy home, peace, and love.

A Small Christmas "Tail"-5

Thanks again for the wonderful comments. We're approaching the end...

A Small Christmas "Tail"

The doe saw Casey and her eyes grew wide. She didn't move a muscle, as though frozen in place. Casey feared she might flee at any moment and tried to reassure her.


"Hello, ma'am. Don't worry. I'm only an ordinary little pup. I don't chase deer."

She seemed to relax a bit, yet prudently kept her distance as she spoke.

"Sorry. I'm still pretty skittish. Things have been so frightening in the woods. Thank heaven it's better now."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's finally Christmas. We look forward to it all year. Christmas is the time when the men with guns leave the woods and peace finally returns for us."

Casey's ears pricked forward.

"Are you saying that Christmas means peace?"

"For us it does. No more guns blazing. No more running for our lives. No more beloved friends that disappear forever."

The doe's eyes sparkled with liquid. Casey shook his head.

"That sounds terrible."

"Yes, indeed it is. That's why we're so fond of Christmas. Now if you'll excuse me, I must get home so my family doesn't worry."

And with that, the doe turned and bounded away through the trees. Casey listened until he could no longer hear the sound of her hooves drumming along the ground.

Puzzled, he tried to sort out his thoughts. So many different opinions. Did Christmas mean fun, sharing, home, or peace? It certainly wasn't an easy concept to pin down. A northern breeze ruffled his fur and Casey shivered. The sun had sunk low enough to make the air feel cooler even without the wind.  He longed for the warmth of home and the dinner that he knew awaited him.

A full stomach never failed to inspire. Perhaps he could figure out the meaning of Christmas later.

A Small Christmas "Tail"-4

Onward to Part 4...

A Small Christmas "Tail"

Casey loped out the door and felt only a little guilty at scattering the yard full of birds. No matter. He knew they'd be back just as soon as he went inside. Birds never let anything bother them for long.

As was his custom, Casey carefully marked the perimeter of the yard, which served to warn strangers not to trespass on his territory. He felt it only proper to avoid any unpleasantness by letting them know who was in charge. Once he finished that task, Casey raced to the farthest point of the yard which bordered a small lake. The water sparkled with golden pink sunlight.


Casey licked his lips. After so much hard work, a cool drink would certainly hit the spot. And as an added bonus, he didn't even need to worry about his feet getting muddy. The ground had been hard for weeks. Casey touched his muzzle to the surface and began to lap until he noticed a large gray fish swimming just beneath the surface. He lifted his head and nodded an amiable greeting.

The fish regarded him cautiously and then nodded in reply. Casey recalled how his people once talked about fish being brain food. That must mean fish were smart. As long as such an intelligent creature was handy, why not ask him about Christmas?

"Sir, do you happen to know anything about Christmas?"

The fish pursed his mouth and bubbles traveled from it to the surface. With each bursting bubble, Casey heard words that sloshed with every syllable.

"Of course I do. That's the time when humans drag green trees to the water and throw them in for us."

Casey pricked his ears forward and tilted his head to the side.

"But why would they do that?"

More bubbles drifted upward.

"It gives us a safe place to bring our young ones into the world. Christmas is about home."

Then the fish turned smoothly and with a flip of his tail glided away. Casey scratched a tickle behind his ear while he thought. Could Christmas be about home? The idea made him long for the warmth of the house, so he turned to trot back to the door.

But before he'd taken more than three steps, he noticed a beautiful doe move from the cover of trees to the lake.

A Small Christmas "Tail"-3

Thanks for all the kind comments. On to Part 3!

A Small Christmas "Tail"

The next afternoon, Casey jumped on the chair that his people kept by the window. He saw dozens of birds in the backyard. They hopped and scrabbled in the dirt, chattering merrily at each other. Soon a large Cardinal glided toward the window and perched on a feeder that sat nearby. He looked like a wise old bird, so Casey tapped the window politely with his paw.


"Excuse me, sir. I don't know anything about Christmas. Can you tell me what it means?"

The bird preened his brilliant red feathers and cocked his head to the side.

"Why certainly I can. The first thing to know about Christmas, is that when it arrives, so does cold weather. And for birds, cold weather means hunger. It's very hard to get food when the temperature drops."

The thought was alarming. Casey always looked forward to mealtimes, and certainly didn't like the idea of an empty bowl.

"So Christmas means going hungry?"

"Oh, no. Actually, quite the opposite."

The bird fixed his dark little eyes on Casey as he continued.

"At Christmas kind people remember us and put good things outside. Seeds, bread crumbs, corn...all sorts of delicious treats. And even after Christmas, most of them don't forget us, especially during the coldest times. Why, I don't know what we'd do without Christmas and the food people share with us."

The Cardinal fluffed himself up into a feathery ball and then flew away to join the other birds. Casey sat back on his haunches. Perhaps the Cardinal was right. Christmas must be about sharing. He jumped from the chair down to the floor and trotted toward the door. Though he wasn't looking forward to braving the cold, he barked obediently and waited. Nothing made a trip outside more urgent than lapping up a bowl full of water. And the Lady had no sense of humor about accidents.

A Small Christmas "Tail"-2

It was suggested that I modify the title slightly, lest someone determine Santa needs to bring me a dictionary!
Thanks for your comments...here comes Part 2.


A Small Christmas "Tail"

Sasha the cat had lived with the Man and the Lady for years. Due to her senior status, she considered herself the Queen of the house, and ruler over all less important beings. A mistress of slyness, the big calico liked to pester Casey by pouncing on his back while he napped. She also loved to swat him unmercifully until he finally chased her. Casey always tried to resist the chase, because whenever he gave in to temptation and ran after her, she'd swiftly jump on the countertop out of his reach and laugh. Though exceptionally annoying, Casey knew Sasha was also very smart.

He pattered over to where she slept on top of a thickly pillowed rocking chair, and growled a little to clear his throat. 

"Sasha, I have a question for you. Can you tell me what Christmas means?"

Sasha's tail twitched back and forth and she lazily opened one eye.

"Tsk, tsk. Pups don't know anything. Christmas is specifically created for cats. We get all sorts of special treats and catnip surprises. But best of all is the entertainment. That tree in the living room the Man and the Lady just put up belongs to me. I get to climb it, play with the hanging toys, and tunnel under the tree skirt. Oh, every year it's a complete delight.  And that, young man, is what Christmas is all about. It's about having fun."

Sasha closed the one eye she'd opened and promptly went back to sleep. Casey thought about what she said. His people certainly did seem to enjoy putting up the tree. Maybe Sasha was right. Maybe Christmas meant having fun. He glanced at the deceptively peaceful looking cat and then remembered how his face stung yesterday when she batted him with her front claws.

Perhaps it would be wise to get another opinion.

A Small Christmas Tail-Part 1

I penned a Christmas story as a way to celebrate the season.  Hope you enjoy!

A Small Christmas Tail


The front door swung open and the voices of the Lady and the Man filled the house. They spoke fast in a high-pitched way that brought a small brown rag-tag dog racing to discover what had happened. His ears perked to attention while his entire back end wriggled with the effort of wagging a stubby tail as hard as he could make it go. Crisp air whooshed inside as though seeking the room's cozy warmth. A strange object followed.

"Look out, Casey. We're coming through."

With the Man's words, the little dog did a stiff-legged dance backward without once taking his eyes off the sight of an enormous bristled stick that pushed into the room. A few needles fell softly to the floor, making an awful mess. Such things usually upset the Lady. But today, she only laughed.

The stick smelled of pine and dirt and outdoor scents that pulled Casey in closer for a more thorough inspection.

The Man inhaled deeply.

"Smells good, doesn't it?"

The Lady and the Man got the stick inside and then pushed it into a metal bowl that helped it stand upright. The top nearly reached the ceiling. Casey watched as the Man cut away a net that freed branches which dropped to the side. The stick began to look more and more like one of Casey's favorite outside trees. He buried his snout in one of the lowest branches. The Man was right. It smelled wonderful.

Then another strange thing happened. The Man and the Lady began to wrap wires around the tree. Then they plugged it into the wall and the whole thing began to glow brighter than the living room reading lamps. Even after that, they continued to put strange shaped items on the tree. The ones Casey could reach moved enticingly when he touched them, so he couldn't resist pulling one off to taste it.

"No, Casey," the Man's voice was stern, but he tempered his words by patting Casey's head.

"This is your first Christmas, so I know it's all new to you. The tree is to help us remember the Christmas season. But you mustn't touch it."

Casey's ears sank and he laid down to watch as the Lady and the Man put the final touches on the tree. They smiled and nodded as they gazed upon its splendor. Casey had to admit it looked nice and made a fine addition to the living room.

He began to wonder about the word, Christmas. What in the world did it mean? He hoped his people would say more about it. But instead of talking, they turned on the television to watch a program that featured one song after another. Casey jumped on the couch and nosed his head under the Lady's hand. She obliged him by smoothing the fur on his head.

"I just love Christmas," she sighed.

Christmas again. The more he heard, the more he wanted to understand it. Finally Casey decided there was only one thing to do. He'd ask those best known for their powers of observation.

His friends, the animals.

My Christmas Workout

Christmas gives me so many things I need. And I'm not talking about gifts.

Think about the obstacle course at the mall. Walking as quickly as you can while dodging multitudes of shoppers is great for the glutes. Bonus points for juggling multiple packages at the same time. Be ready to practice a little meditation for stress relief while waiting in a seemingly endless check out line. Note: the meditation idea is also helpful after you've lost the last parking spot (the one for which you've been patiently waiting while a little old lady takes 5 minutes to back out) when a car load of teenagers cuts in ahead of you.

Back at home, I unload the car. That usually takes at least 3 trips. The packages get stuffed in my closet. I'll wrap them another day, because now it's time to drag countless boxes up from the basement. By my calculation, I climb up and down the stairs at least 147 times. And at 20 pounds per box, my biceps quickly feel the burn.

But it doesn't end there. Now that the tree is put together and decorated, the official Kitty War has begun. Bogey loves to de-decorate the bottom of the tree. That means I get a daily dose of crawling around on the floor to retrieve ornaments that he's strewn across the room. Not to worry, though. I can always throw in a few leg lifts as long as I'm down there anyway.

I ask you, who needs a gym membership when you have Christmas? And thank goodness, too. I've got to find some way to justify the extra 3,000 calories per day I'm consuming.

Happy Holidays!

Image courtesy of donutz_photos

The Big Holiday is nearly upon us. Because of my plodding procrastination, posts will be spotty this week while I try and catch up.

The shopping malls are jammed with lines in every store that reach to infinity. It's a little bit dangerous to negotiate. On the bright side, perhaps the recession is easing, after all.

Here's hoping you're in much better shape than I, and can actually relax and enjoy the season...at home in front of a warm fireplace.

We wish you peace, joy, and love in abundance.

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

SOS Answered

The wonderful typewriter is from the collection of my friend, Don Wiegand, artist extraordinaire. Previously I've blogged about the fight to save his studio from eminent domain seizure. Today I received a confirmation email that the battle has been won! The studio and property have been preserved. What a wonderful gift for the holiday season!

The typewriter reminds me that in between household chores and working to get ready for Christmas, I need to get back to writing. I have a Chicken Soup idea simmering, and am even thinking about starting to toy with Behind City Streets, my NaNo novel (can you say NaNo novel three times fast?).

Whatever you may have on your busy weekend agenda, I hope you can take some time out to relax, and enjoy the gentle sounds of silver bells.