You Say Potato and I Say Potah-toh

Tonight starts the first night of Fall bowling. Why it's called Fall bowling is a mystery to me. Every- Month-of-the-Year-Except-June-and-July bowling would be more accurate. But I suppose that's a potato/potah-toh kind of thing.

No matter the name. It will be interesting to discover what happens when I lace up my bowling shoes. After two months of no practice, having a bowling ball in my hand could prove to be dangerous for anyone near me. Perhaps it would be wise to wear a warning sign.

Things are interesting at my house. I've been dog sitting for both my kids this week. Even though the dogs do generally fine, in loyal doggie fashion they always listen for "Mom" or "Dad" to come back and take them home. 

Ever vigilant, Brady watches the door.

Tinker Bell does, too.

And there's one other critter at my house who also will be extremely pleased to see Mom or Dad arrive.

They eat my food and scavenge my litter box. The scent of cat poo breath is making me gag. When will those filthy barking beasts go home? 

Dogs Who Love to Float

There's nothing like a beautiful day on the river...especially if you're a dog. We just returned from a float trip down the crystal clear White River in southern Missouri. I could not believe the number of dogs in attendance.

We saw a 10 week old Portuguese Water Dog on her very first float trip. That little fur ball pawed at the water and paddled her way from person to person like a champ.

There was a mixed breed hound dog who, after becoming bored from a sand bar stop, jumped back in the canoe and barked at her human companion as though to say, "Okay, now put down that beer and let's get paddling!"

My favorite, though, was a Great Pyrenees who sat tall and majestic in the front of a canoe, calmly watching the scenery go by. He/she (not sure which) could have been a model for how Lewis and Clark's famous dog, Seaman, must have looked while they were on expedition. Totally awesome.

Along the 7 mile float, there were three springs that fed the river. At one of the springs, cold water poured in giving an air-conditioned feeling to the atmosphere. The temperature near the spring must have dropped by at least fifteen degrees...a most refreshing circumstance on a 90+ degree day.

I'd forgotten how much fun it is to float. Especially when you're paddling down a gorgeous river on a beautiful day, meeting lots of new friends...with both two feet and four.

Can we go again next weekend?

Clothes for Critters

Do you dress your pets or let them roam in a state of glorious nakedness?

At our house the answer is both. Most days, we prefer to live in Bohemian splendor. Other days it seems fitting to dress Indy in his sweater or put a hat (briefly) on Bogey. One serves a practical purpose. Indy is old, thin, and arthritic. In cold weather he needs a little help. The other is purely for my own entertainment. Or a photo op.

Apparently many people have extensive closets for their critters. Do a Google search and be amazed at what's available. You can find anything...sweaters, coats, dresses, shirts, hats, boots, necklaces. It's frighteningly true. Your dog or cat can (for a price) be better dressed than you are.

I ran across a picture of this fine fellow. He emphatically sums up Bogey's position about wearing anything except his furry birthday suit.

On the other hand, my son's dog has at least a half dozen outfits. What's more he loves to be dressed up in them, literally growling when you try to remove whatever item he's wearing.

Back in the days when Indy and I did pet therapy, a costume was part of our shtick. The people in the assisted living facility would laugh and clap whenever the fur kids had on some cute ensemble. Indy even had a pair of nifty sunglasses that made him look more like Joe Cool than Snoopy ever did.

How about you? Do your critters have a wardrobe?

He's Got Bedroom Eyes

Dogs are down to earth and fairly predictable. They enjoy squeaky toys, chewy bones, playing fetch, and being scratched behind the ears. They love treats and dinner time. They adore their humans. Take my Indy boy for example. He's now blind, deaf, and nearly fifteen years old, yet still gamely stumbles after me as I walk from room to room. Only occasionally does he bump his nose on an obstacle. Now that's true love.

Then you have cats. What I don't understand about cats is their obsession with the strangest things. One of Bogey's favorite types of entertainment occurs whenever I change the sheets. He can hear the rustle of cotton bedclothes even when he's in the basement. Such activity incites a mad rush to the bedroom where he wastes no time leaping right into the middle of the action.

If I try to tuck the fitted sheet, he worms his way under one of the edges. 

Snap the flat sheet and he attacks the puffs of air that balloon beneath it. And don't let your hand get in the way. Bogey has very efficient claws. 

Then there's the ultimate coup...

Frankly, the only way I'm able to safely change sheets is by closing the bedroom door. However, this creates a frenzied meowing on the other side, the tone and tenor of which causes my ears to ring. I'm pretty sure what he's saying in cat-speak includes exceptionally unprintable comments regarding my personality, parentage, and utter lack of moral fiber. It feels like I've come between a first day dieter and a triple chocolate layer cake.    

My cat and bed sheets. I just don't get it. 

Wee Wee Wee

Son's dog, Brady, often comes to stay at my house. Here he is modeling the latest in doggie fashion, with an expression that clearly says, "It isn't easy being green."

Brady is a Cairn Terrier with more issues than I can count. He's allergic to grass and tears his hair out so methodically that he looks like the poster child for a hair replacement commercial. To keep him from chewing his sides naked, he has his own wardrobe.

When it thunders, Brady barks non-stop. If he's outside, he charges around the yard while barking hysterically as though determined to scare away an evil hobgoblin.

He also has a food obsession and will grab anything edible from your hand, from your plate, or from any other place he can stretch tall enough to reach. Thwarting Brady can make eating dinner a true challenge.

Brady's latest accomplishment is "marking". He will occasionally do this at his house, but by far prefers to do it at other people's homes. Curtains and sofas are his favorite targets. Since this creates numerous problems for all concerned, Brady now has a new piece of wearing apparel.

Yes, it's a doggie diaper. Brady wore his diaper for the first time to Daughter's house on Sunday, since he particularly likes to mark when visiting her. We held our collective breath and discovered...success! Not once did Brady lift his leg. He was a perfect gentleman.

It may sound crazy, but it works. Diaper on when in the house, off when outside. Now the furniture is dry and the curtains remain spot free.

Who'd have thought doggie diapers would become our family's new best friend?

The Help

There's no such thing as privacy at my house. In fact, nothing happens without complete snoopervision. Even the shower isn't sacred.

You missed a spot

No one is shy about lending a helping paw, either.

Let me adjust this for you

Yet it can be refreshing to have competent assistants.

I've got your towel on the warming rack

Sigh. Guess I'm pretty lucky, after all.

Happy Fourth (or Fifth, or Sixth, or Seventh)

Image from House Call Vet Care.

I admit to perpetrating my share of critter craziness. Over the years I've bought hats, colorful outfits, and sunglasses for dogs. I've put jingle bells on cats. I've even photographed critters with a sign around their neck labeled with phrases like, "I pooped in Dad's shoes." But I've never dyed a dog red, white, and blue. Well, probably in this case dyed a dog red and blue. I assume this poor pup is usually white. We can only hope he didn't have to wait for his hair to grow out.

Fourth of July is nearly upon us again. Fireworks are blazing, blasting, and generally bloodcurdling just about every animal around, from pets to wildlife. Oh the joy of trying to get your dog to potty outside when the neighbors own a bigger arsenal than the United States did in World War II.

I thought my poor Indy boy had grown deaf enough not to care, but let me tell you, he cares. He really cares. So we're trying to have potty time when there's a lull in the action. Unfortunately we're having a lot more action than lull.

There's no one that enjoys a holiday more than me, but I must say I always look forward to July 5th (or 6th or 7th) so I don't feel like I need a helmet and combat boots every time I go outside. Alright, go ahead and give me some cheese with my Fourth of July whine.

So tell us what you think. On Fourth of July do you prefer action or lull? Whatever it is you want, we hope you get it...safely.

Getting Older

Here's my handsome Indy boy. Isn't he a sweetheart? When I walk from room to room, he gets up (slowly, thanks to his arthritis) and pads patiently along behind me. If I sit down, he's in my lap. If I work at the computer he positions himself beneath the desk. Indy has always been my little shadow.

As you can see, he's long overdue for a haircut. I planned to take him on Saturday, but he wasn't feeling well. Now that he's achieved the vast age of 14, I don't like to stress him out. If his fur is long and he smells a little "doggie", oh well. We can live with it.

Indy has slowed down a lot in recent months. He's lost even more of his ability to see and hear. He's thinner than he used to be and sleeps most of the time. It's becoming clear we're approaching our final journey, though I try not to dwell on it. As long as he's happy, eats and drinks, and doesn't appear to be in pain, we're good. And I hope we'll be good for a long while yet to come.

It's tough watching our four-leggers get old, isn't it?

Women's Weekend

I don't want to make anyone jealous or anything, but guess what I got to do? The women of our family had a weekend at Lake of the Ozarks. That means my daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, nieces, and I got to spend some quality time together in a lovely condo by the lake.

What did we do? We did what most women do when they get together. We consumed more calories than a Sumo wrestler, enjoyed plenty of scrumptious cocktails, and shopped until we nearly dropped. We laughed ourselves silly playing a crazy-fun game called Heads Up. Heads Up consists of one person holding an iPad high, so only the rest of the group can see the word(s) displayed. The group shouts or acts out clues trying to get the person holding the iPad to guess what's on the iPad. It kind of reminds me of the old game show Password, except a lot more lively...especially after a few of the aforementioned cocktails. More than one person had to run to the bathroom to avoid one of those I-laughed-so-hard-I-peed-in-my-pants moments.

We did a lot of talking over the weekend about work, family, and significant others. We even came up with a grand idea to start a new business venture. After we write a business plan. And get a loan. And convince significant others it's a foolproof idea. Launching our new business may take a while.

Meanwhile, my number one son kept all three dogs while we were gone. Indy, Brady, and Tinker Belle had a swell time. Not so sure about number one son. He slept with 3 territorial dogs in bed with him (talk about heroic) and had to break up two snarky disagreements between Indy and Brady. Unfortunately the spot shampooer also had a workout almost as tough as my son's. I couldn't help but notice the way he breathed a deep sigh of relief as soon as we finally pulled into the driveway.

I sometimes feel guilty about going on a women's weekend. Especially when I have so many other pressing things to be done. But nothing can compare to the awesome, almost mystic renewal that comes when a group of women spend time together without a single drop of testosterone in the room. It's woman power personified. We each came home with our shoulders a little higher, our smiles a little brighter, and our souls much stronger.

Have you done anything lately that made you just feel wonderful?

Happy Easter 2014

My four-legged thief...

But Bogey has other interests...

Hey Mom! Where can I get my paws on the bird that laid these eggs!

Easter is tomorrow and it looks like the weather will be sunny, warm, and simply spectacular. After church we're heading for the annual Easter car show. Gotta love those old-time rides. Of course it is rather disturbing to realize cars I once owned are now referred to as antiques. Sigh...

Wishing you and yours a safe and truly blessed Easter holiday.

Woe is My Computer

It seems we've inherited the insidious problem I've heard is rumbling throughout computer-land. My computer is sick. Not blue-screen-of-death sick, but definitely sick. I have a computer paramedic coming to check things out, but unfortunately not until Wednesday. Apparently my computer's need for life-support is not considered an emergency. Here's hoping all my documents and programs survive (drat my tendency to procrastinate about backing things up...grrrr!) For now I'm limping along using my old laptop and/or my iPhone to stay connected. Neither lend themselves to posts filled with pictures or heavy content. On the bright side, I do have one happy thing to report. My little guy, Indy, celebrated his 14th birthday on Sunday, March 23. He's a tough little man who's happy, loves his homemade meals, and will even play (if we don't play too hard) when I bring out the tennis ball. True he doesn't hear well and his eyes are clouded with cataracts, but Indy still enjoys life. As many of you know, when Indy was 10, the vet predicted he'd only live a few more months due to liver failure. Guess we showed her. The vet is speechless with amazement every time I call to re-fill his meds. Sometimes research, determination, and a double dose of faith are all you need to work a small miracle. My Indy boy is living proof that no matter how big a problem is, we should never give up. Happy birthday to Indy!

How to Go Anywhere with Your Dog

Last month we took a long family weekend in beautiful Scottsdale, Arizona. Scottsdale was warm and inviting, a lovely respite from Missouri's brutal polar temperatures and unending snow. Spending time with family was pretty awesome, too.

Above is one of the outdoor shots I took of the famous Barrett-Jackson auction. It's the one you've probably seen on television where people who live a totally different lifestyle from mine, think nothing of bidding 1.5 million to pick up a nice vintage vehicle. We spent a lot of time checking things out.

I could go on forever describing what we saw...amazing cars, celebrities, television moments, and vendors who arrived on scene to sell anything you can imagine...yes, even pianos.

But I want to focus on something else that interested me. I've never seen so many people with dogs wearing service vests in any place I've ever been. There must have been dozens and dozens of them, each with a vest displaying tags that looked very official. Some of the dogs even wore cute little outfits along with the vest.

I asked a few different handlers whether their dogs were in training or working. Each one smiled and said their dogs were working. Several mentioned that their dog did pet therapy.

Let me tell you, no one is more a fan of making dogs welcome in all places than me, but this was a no-dogs-allowed event EXCEPT for service dogs. I didn't notice anyone checking credentials, nor did I notice any millionaires lining up for pet therapy.

Later I went on-line and discovered something. Several companies will be happy to sell service vests to anyone along with patches, ID tags that include federal regulations mandating service dog entry into any building/area, and instructions on how one can travel by air with a service dog. (The service dog apparently flies free)

The websites selling the products have a disclaimer saying they aren't a certifying agency and they do not accept responsibility for any false information supplied to get the products. They add it's fraudulent to misrepresent a dog as a service animal, yet no certifying paperwork is required to make a purchase.

I know there are plenty of folks with highly trained service dogs for a specific and necessary purpose, but Barrett-Jackson made me wonder. Could it be that some people order vests and tags just so they can take their pup wherever they go?

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of dogs and people spending time together, but something seemed a bit odd. Is it my imagination or is this a new way to travel anywhere with your dog?

Mom, I expect you to order a service vest for me immediately!

And It Just Keeps Coming...

Snow, sub-zero temperatures, more snow, and a little sleet just for good measure. We are NOT having weather fun around here this week. Blogger Buddies in Alaska and Canada, I feel like we somehow got transplanted right next door to you. Fortunately, though, there's a glimmer of light for us at the end of this snowy tunnel. Tomorrow we're getting more precipitation, but in liquid form...and apparently lots of it.

With all this snow and all this rain, the moisture will have to go somewhere. I won't be a bit surprised if the next weather warning is for floods. Oh, it's been a very satisfying week for the weather peeps.

Despite the possibilities, you may ask who wouldn't be thrilled over getting rain rather than more snow? Well, I can tell you that one of my household members does not see the latest weather prediction as much of an improvement...

I think it's just about time somebody builds somebody an indoor toilet.

Indy's Favorite Things

If Oprah can do it, so can we. Do what you ask? Why, talk about our favorite things, of course. So for your gift giving pleasure, Indy and Bogey are going to let you know what gifts put the pitter-patter in critter hearts.

First we have Indy's holiday picks.

1. A delectable delicious chewy bone. There are few things more delightful than gnawing on a flavored chew bone. Indy loves them all, from softer dental chewies to hard nylon bones such as those made by Nylabone. Nylabone lasts longer than any other chewy and Indy keeps a stash on hand at all times. Happy chewing!

2. Any plush toy with a concealed squeaker. Indy's older and a bit hard of hearing, but a loud high-pitched squeaky toy is still able to perk up his ears. Beware, though, if your dog is a squeak-removal expert. We certainly don't want you to spend Christmas in the emergency vet clinic.

3. Unlike Santa hats and mufflers, a soft comfy dog sweater is a clothing item Indy enjoys wearing. Find a sweater that is not too snug and not too loose. It will help keep old bones warm when the thermometer drops. If your dog has never worn a sweater before, let him/her slowly get used to having it on. You'll soon have a true canine fashionista on your hands.

4. Plush fleece-type bed topper. Indy has several beds throughout the house and insists on snuggling in fluffy layers of softness. Plush blankets are fairly inexpensive, but here's an even cheaper option. Go to the fabric store and buy a couple of yards of plush fleece material. Fold it and place on top of your pup's bed. No hemming needed. Ahhhhh. Now that's luxury!

5. A personalized bandana. Indy has several that range from a checkered flag pattern to snowmen to red-white-and blue. Each one has "Indy" embroidered in a contrasting color. You can find a ton of sizes, patterns, and colors at K9Design. We've ordered from them several times. They do good work and have always gotten the finished product to us FAST. What stylish dog wouldn't want a wardrobe of bandanas?

Okay, there you have it. Indy's top five favorite things. Bogey is now hard at work on his list. We'll share it with you next time.

Giving Thanks

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is a mere few days away. I'm happy, though. We have so many things for which to be grateful this year.

Health scares have been turned into sighs of relief. We all are fortunate to have decent jobs. No one lives so far away that they can't be home in a heartbeat. And an elderly aunt who endured several years of the indignities brought on by end-stage dementia has finally been released from her suffering. Thanksgiving will be a time for us to sit back, breathe, and know that everything is as it should be.

Since Thanksgiving is "my" holiday, I need to prepare for company. I've made lists (checking them twice) and will soon be filling my grocery cart with delectable goodies. There's nothing like the scent of Thanksgiving Day. I can smell the mouth-watering aromas of turkey, pumpkin, and cinnamon now.

Unfortunately, I can smell something else, too. This has added yet another task to my list...

He-he! I'm thankful to be a self-service hygiene expert. 

Getting What You Want Critter Style

Oh, the power of sad brown eyes. Indy started using this look to get what he wanted at the age of 8 weeks. Now that he's 13 and a half years old, you can see he's quite the salesman. A master, too.

On the other hand, we have Bogey. There are no pleading looks from this guy. When he wants something...

he simply takes it.

Dogs and cats. They use different methods but both are equally successful at getting what they want.
Someone posted this on Facebook the other day and I had to laugh.

 I think that about sums it up.

Hope your weekend brings you everything you want!

Art for the Art-Challenged

How about that? A work of art, and it only took me a few clicks to get 'er done.

I've found yet another totally delightful way to waste time and avoid writing. Check out this on-line photo editing site. You only need to register as a user in order to apply tons of interesting effects to your pictures.  Best of all, it's FREE!

I feel exactly like Andy Warhol.

A Little Wall Art Provides Inspiration

In a recent burst of energy, I painted my bedroom. Not a single day and done, mind you. I work cheap, but not fast. In all, it took about three weeks for each wall to sport a soothing sagey-green color. I put away the paint cans and decided to treat myself to a brand new picture for the wall.

I've loved the Andrew Wyeth print, "Master Bedroom" for a long time, so I ordered it on line. The cost was reasonable and delivery fast. Not more than fifteen minutes after its arrival, I raced to Hobby Lobby where I pondered over mats and frames of every color and shape. I made my choices and signed on the dotted line.

Only one week and a couple of hundred dollars (gulp) later, I had the finished product in hand. Don't you just love the dog all curled up with his head on the pillow? Awww....

Hanging pictures (especially when they're heavy) is not one of my best skills. If somebody offered me a million bucks, I simply can't do it. No matter how carefully I measure, it ends up either too low or too high. Don't tell anyone but this picture is hiding several "oopsie" holes.

The good news is despite all my grunting and groaning and hammering, Indy and Bogey became quite inspired by our new acquisition.

Well, isn't that what a master bedroom is for?

May each of you have an equally relaxing (and safe) Labor Day weekend!

Critter Sitting for the Crew

Welcome to the Real Critters of Wahler City, where high drama occurs every time a tasty morsel of food hits the floor. Meet our cast of characters:

Bogey, a fabulous feline able to navigate any obstacle and reduce even the finest furniture to tatters. His latest mission is to circulate a petition declaring once and for all that cats are kings and dogs are duds. Better sign on. He doesn't take no for an answer.

Brady, a convicted dog burglar with a rap sheet 10 pages long. He can steal a lifesaver straight out of your mouth while leaving behind only minimal evidence (bruises and a few teeth marks) of said larceny. Ouch.

Tinker Bell, Queen of all she surveys. The big boys don't back down for much, but Tink knows how to keep them in line...and without ruining her new coiffure.

Indy, the original member of the group. Not that he's OCD or anything, but this guy can lick even the toughest nut (or anything else for that matter) into warm oatmeal. His tongue has been certified as a deadly weapon. Don't come near him without a towel.

Life with these four critters is busy and demanding. But someone must be the mastermind in control of the pack. Who can handle them? Is there anyone able to keep this sixteen-pawed planet from spinning out of control?

I've got the food. I've got the medicine. I've got the Resolve. Heck, I've even got the watermelon.

Okay, everybody, Mom's here and she's ready. Bring it on.

Let the Battle Begin

Every month I order Indy's "magic" potion...Denosyl. Denosyl helps support his liver function. I buy it through Amazon, as the cost is approximately half what the vet's office charges. For the past 2.5 years this process has gone without a hitch. Today, not so much.

Indy got his last pill yesterday. The new order STILL hadn't arrived, so I clicked on the "Track my package" tab and discovered the following:

1. It went to a wrong address.
2. The package is damaged (presumably by the people at the wrong address who are sick of having someone else's mail delivered to them).
3. My order is now considered undeliverable and was sent back to the seller as of July 23.
4. Nobody bothered to tell me any of this.

I contacted Amazon and did a "Live chat" with Jabbar.

Me: My order still hasn't arrived. Apparently there have been some issues. Where is my Denosyl?
(2 minutes later)
Jabbar: I am most sorry that you had to contact us for this problem. I will look for what is wrong. This will take me a few short moments.
(Five minutes later)
Jabbar: I am most sorry to say your package was delivered to the wrong address.
Me: My address is the same address I've always had. Why did it go to the wrong address?
Jabbar: (ignores my question) I also see that your package has received damage. We cannot deliver a package with damage.
(Considering I just received a light fixture from Amazon in a box that looked like it had been worked over by a baseball bat, I call this a distraction tactic)
Me: I understand there were problems with the order, but no one has notified me about any of these things. Now you're telling me the order was sent back. Are you saying my dog's medicine isn't coming?
(3 minutes later)
Jabbar: That is correct. Your order is canceled and you will get a refund. I would ask you to please place another order.
Me: So I have to start over again to get my dog's medicine? How could all these things happen and no one bothers to tell me? I could have re-ordered the Denosyl days ago if I knew this.
Jabbar: I am most sorry about this inconvenience. Please place your order again.
Me: Oh, no, Jabbar. Not a snowball's chance.

So I drove to the vet's office and paid top dollar for Indy's Denosyl. He's now got his meds and I'm on the search for a new supplier. Amazon sends me more junk emails than all the other advertisers put together, yet they can't notify me they've decided to cancel my order. An order for medicine.

Amazon, this means war.