Bogey vs Mom

The tree is up...the battle begins.

Another Battle

I finally broke down and bought a new Christmas tree. Here it is, all "spruced" up and ready to go. Putting this tree together was so much easier than the old tree, which had to be assembled branch by branch. This one is like an umbrella consisting of three poles that fit together one at a time. The branches fall into place. No need to add any lights...this little beauty has them built right in! 

Of course, putting up the tree brings a familiar complication.

Bogey...hard at work performing his de-decorating duties. Oh yes, we've been there before. I've tried every possible solution to keep him away from the tree in past years. None of them has been successful. Bogey doesn't listen to anyone, least of all me.

But now I have hope. I won the battle of the curtains. I'm sure I can prevail in the war to preserve the Christmas tree!

Mom vs Bogey. Here we go again...

My Christmas Workout

Christmas gives me so many things I need. And I'm not talking about gifts.

Think about the obstacle course at the mall. Walking as quickly as you can while dodging multitudes of shoppers is great for the glutes. Bonus points for juggling multiple packages at the same time. Be ready to practice a little meditation for stress relief while waiting in a seemingly endless check out line. Note: the meditation idea is also helpful after you've lost the last parking spot (the one for which you've been patiently waiting while a little old lady takes 5 minutes to back out) when a car load of teenagers cuts in ahead of you.

Back at home, I unload the car. That usually takes at least 3 trips. The packages get stuffed in my closet. I'll wrap them another day, because now it's time to drag countless boxes up from the basement. By my calculation, I climb up and down the stairs at least 147 times. And at 20 pounds per box, my biceps quickly feel the burn.

But it doesn't end there. Now that the tree is put together and decorated, the official Kitty War has begun. Bogey loves to de-decorate the bottom of the tree. That means I get a daily dose of crawling around on the floor to retrieve ornaments that he's strewn across the room. Not to worry, though. I can always throw in a few leg lifts as long as I'm down there anyway.

I ask you, who needs a gym membership when you have Christmas? And thank goodness, too. I've got to find some way to justify the extra 3,000 calories per day I'm consuming.

M'mmm Christmas!

One of my goals for this week is to assemble and decorate the Christmas tree. It's not one of my favorite tasks (although much better than taking down the tree which is basically the entire process in reverse with the added bonus of after holiday exhaustion). But I do enjoy the beautiful scene once everything has been completed.

I am concerned about Bogey. Last year the beastly boy knocked ornaments off the tree and used them for kitty soccer balls that he batted around the room. He chewed at the ribbons on wrapped presents. He attempted to climb the tree. To discourage him I tried orange peels...no go. I tried squirt bottle...unsafe with electric.

I'm afraid that once this year's tree assembly is complete, he will be ecstatic with joy.

"Look! My very own tree! And it's all covered with dangley things that swing when I hit them! And nifty lightning bug lights, too! Thanks for the cool present, Mom!"

Sigh.

I don't suppose things will be much easier this year, so I've done some research on keeping cats out of trees. Some of the suggestions I found included: spray bottle (not so good with electric lights), loud noises (great as long as I'm present and vigilant), Bitter Apple spray (there's that liquid/electric thing again), orange peels (didn't work), cover bottom of tree with aluminum foil (kind of spoils the effect of putting it up in the first place), put tree in area where you can shut the door (but who can see it hidden away in the spare bedroom?), or keep cat under supervision at all times (are you kidding me?).

Only one suggestion seemed like something I'd try. Apparently cats don't like cinnamon. So this year I plan to sprinkle cinnamon all over my tree skirt. Of course that will probably turn the dark green felt to a grungey shade of brown, but no matter. If it works, I'm on board. Sounds like I'll need to stock up on several bottles. Maybe some cinnamon sticks, too. It's going to be an interesting experiment.

Thank goodness I love the scent of Snickerdoodles!

Tree Tales

I've put together the tree, strung the lights, and hung the ornaments. Everything looks great. But unfortunately, Bogey has decided that Christmas trees exist for only one purpose...his personal amusement. My original fear was to find the tree lying flat on the floor at day's end (especially after he flew straight from table to the middle of the tree as soon as he first saw it). Luckily, the tree is still standing, but...

Bogey is now working hard to remove every ornament. I find some of them lying just below the tree branches. Others have been carried away and hidden throughout the house, only to be discovered much later. This is usually after being flattened by a careless foot.

But I have a plan. When I catch Bogey in action, he gets a quick squirt of water from my trusty water bottle, (a.k.a. the disciplinary assistant). It stops him for the moment, but he's back on the attack as soon as I turn my head. So once again I race toward him with the water bottle clutched in my hand. He sees me and starts to scrunch his eyes before I can even get off my first shot. Bogey's no dummy--he knows what's coming. But his pleasure in tormenting the tree far outweighs the soggy consequences.

A friend recently reported that cats hate orange peels. She suggested hanging them all around the bottom of the tree to keep Bogey away. At this point I'll try anything, so I'm off to fight the crowds at the grocery store for the biggest fattest fruit I can find.

Who knew? I guess they don't call them Christmas oranges for nothing!