Story of the Day

Elderly Canine Survives Act of Random Violence

Scene of the crime.

The victim.

The victim's statement to authorities.

I was minding my own business, walking to the door when suddenly...kapow! He purposely jumped on the back of the chair, causing it to fall over and flatten me. I didn't even have time to yelp for help.

Yes, I can identify him from a photograph.

At trial the enraged victim confronts the alleged perpetrator, demanding justice. The suspect enters a plea of not guilty and exercises his right to remain silent.

Cause submitted. Evidence adduced.

Final Disposition: No physical evidence and no eyewitness accounts. Facts insufficient to find beyond a reasonable doubt that defendent committed the offense. Case dismissed.

He-he